How getting clear on my values changed the way I run my business

Have you ever felt like something is missing, but you can’t pinpoint what it is? Or you have a nagging feeling that won’t subside?

Instead of delving deeper into what this actually means, you continue to go about your day,  ignoring it. Day by day you wake up, make lunches, feed the kids and try your hardest to get to meetings and appointments on time. Weeks turn into months, and then into years and those feelings don’t go away.

I did this every day for over 10 years in my business.  While from the outside my business was going great, most days I came home feeling exhausted and frustrated and even worse I I took it out on my family. That was until about 2 years ago I developed the courage to finally explore these feelings. This journey started when I turned off the professional development rants that I was listening to in the car and on my runs and instead started to be more mindful of how I physically felt and if I needed complete silence or podcast, music or the odd audiobook. 

What struck me at the beginning was the absolute beauty of nature that was all around me when I took the time to look. Especially on early morning runs when I sometimes ran into deer, a single great blue heron, and breathtaking sunrises. I was left in awe and with a feeling of hope, comfort and happiness. 

One day while running on a trail, I decided to listen to an interview between Martha Beck and Oprah about Martha’s latest book “ The Way of Integrity”. At this point, I was about 6 months into my journey and I needed more help in exploring these feelings. Her words immediately resonated with me. All I knew was  I needed to get my hands on that book fast. That’s exactly what happened and let me tell you, what I learned would ultimately change my life and how I approach business. 

Martha stresses the importance of leaning into your core and really focusing on what your true nature is rather than what society, or culture tells you who or what you should be. When you live your life as your true self, you will feel physically and mentally at peace and will ultimately be happier and healthier. While the bad days don’t go away entirely, they are much fewer.

When that ache inside of you doesn’t go away, it’s usually for a reason, I’ve learned. It doesn’t fit with your values and your true self. For me personally, the environment, sustainability, integrity, and setting boundaries between my work and personal life are at the top of my list. When I’m not upholding these dear values, that gnawing feeling returns. 

I remember clearly one day after coming to this realization, leaving a job site and driving back to the office. That day I turned off the music in the car and just started to drive. Immediately, I noticed my chest ached. It felt tight. I knew instantly why and I just broke down and cried. Letting it all out. They were tears of relief, but also of regret. Relief that I recognized that this particular work was not within my values, and regret because I wasn’t talking about it and standing up and designing in a way that I knew was right. This particular job was one which was completely wasteful. We were tearing out products and finishes that were completely fine and could be updated, but weren’t on trend and what the client wanted. It felt so wrong. It needed to change if I wanted those feelings to subside. 

Since that day, I’ve made a promise to myself and my team. It is our duty as designers to make thoughtful decisions that not only meet our client’s needs, but uphold our company values including: environment, sustainability and integrity. Diving deep into my core values and living by them has been paramount in my life and has completely transformed the way I run my business. 

While the aches still exist periodically, they are few and far between. I know in my heart that I’m doing my best to live my life in integrity and within my values. At the end of each day, I always do a check-in to see how I’m doing. On the days when things aren’t great, I know it’s because I compromised my values in some way. Perfection doesn’t exist, but we can do our best.

On my journey, I stumbled across this quote from Gandhi and I’d like to leave you with it:

Your beliefs become your thoughts, 
Your thoughts become your words, 
Your words become your actions, 
Your actions become your habits, 
Your habits become your values, 
Your values become your destiny.
— Gandhi